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7 & 1/2 Acres |
2003-11-07 - 6:02 p.m. A little while back somebody sent me a note. It didn't say much atall but it got me thinking about how I've been all locked up here lately and I've come to the conclusion that it's time to reopen the doors. This, by all means, isn't to everybody but is rather, to myself. I got to thinking, there was a time and a place where I was the smartest motherfucka in the room. One of the things that helps me be smart and to keep up with the active care of this quick to dust ole mind is this place here. Plus, it feels good to lay these fingertips down on these dirty keyboard letters. And, there's folks out there that I care about that I've been in complete nilcommunication with that I want to send shout outs to here in this space. So, for those who care, I'm sporadically back. Those who don't care, me too. What I think I want to talk about is Justice. I believe I've lost my belief in Justice. It has never occurred to me that there may not be any justice in this world until recently. This is a little unrelated but kind of fits in, I went down to Fla. not too long ago and had the wonderful pleasure of tooling around some spring fed river with a few other folks. There were four of us in the canoe. We paddled down stream and then back and joked about alligators until we saw them, then all joking ceased. When we were safely away, we'd joke again. One of these mugs was big. I mean, we're in a heavily loaded, almost bumped into the fella, right there he is Big. If we would of gotten eaten, there would of been no justice. In a way there would have been on the gator's side but really, there'd of been no justice at the scene. It'd have been all luck and maybe a small, small bit of skill and ability to flee. I've been listening to gunshots today as it is deer hunting season. A couple of days ago, I saw a buck, dead on the side of the road. He was laying as if he was headed toward the road and the bank was too steep for him to climb, so he died at the base of it. This is my story. He was shot down on Mr. William's place (baited by the deer corn and shot by some fella in a tree stand). His adrenalin got him across a field and to the bank before he died. I think he was left there because he only was a two or three pointer and not worthy of the tally to be recorded. This deer, by dying near the road side gave its' hunter another chance to bag a bigger and more prestigious quarry. Again, no justice here. And the same for the hunter who stopped by my folks wanting permission to hunt their land for food and only shoots Does as such. They said no and we talked together about how he has no place to hunt anymore (and to hunt only Does is the most ethically responsible thing a hunter can do, especially with the overpopulation of deer in Md). I just don't believe in it anymore. There's too much shit in the world for there to be any real justice. Too many injustices. Too many people shitting all over the place. And, I think I feel free. I feel a bit more free to see the shit for what it is and to not take things so personally. When I believed in justice, I felt that I had a right to justice in my own life. When shit happened as shit always does and will, I struggled not only with the shit, but the injustice. To let go of the injustice, is to take a look at the shit, and the shit is easier to let go of when it's just shit. So, no more belief in justice. But, this said, it doesn't mean I'm going to change the way I act. I believe I've contributed a lot of good to this world and I will continue to do so. I just won't pretend like it is anything but what it is.
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