7 & 1/2 Acres

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2003-06-17 - 7:12 p.m.

Alright, let me try and give this a go again--I did an entry and signed guestbooks last night but I wasn't really in this body of mine and I didn't trust the stranger so I kept hitting the delete button. I'm still out of sorts and this writing thing is not here for me right now--this meaning I've got the self conscious on, kind of like I did the other day at Mr. William's when everyone learned that my folks are Deaf and that I knew signs and how do you say... and asked me to sign--or maybe in a desperate moment of self rescue I thunk this on my own...I signed how William and I went down the river in a canoe and the boat tipped and we spilled out and floated with the current. Boy, that's a wordy one in english but it was perfect for everyone in ASL, especially as they were able to make out what I was saying and to ask me to do it again and again--watch his facial expressions. I signed that four times. But, I did have fun canoeing with Mr. Wiliam his son and two of the grandkids and I loved that we spilled in a little bitty rapid not a hundred feet from where we first launched (at another point, after a little swim break, Mr. William floated on down with the current and hollared back at me, Alright, Jeff, just bring the canoe on and pick me up down stream. Hanging out was fun too (after canoeing his whole family and I got together and ate fried chicken) but that kind of family thing just ain't my scene. I'm buds with Mr. William, not the whole crew.

So, I guess the thing that is eating at me is I just want to say I sure do miss molu and brit and frances. Y'all are some soul and I dig, dig, dig you folk. JB, France and I went to hear some scott miller the other night and damn, he put on a show. Driving home we got Bud tall boys for JB and France to keep their drunk a going and Brit's spirit was right there crammed into the truck with us. We whooped and hollared and had fun.

And this fills me with all kinds of good things, I mean so much that I'm getting teary eyed trying to get this out--JB, his brother and I went to help Mr. William get up hay and coming back to the house was molu and all the animal crew sitting on the front porch. That girl was sitting in a rocking chair, reading, smoking, and drinking a beer. I miss molu, boy. I miss her for who she is and how she is, in so much of her own that I can trust her completely. I haven't missed this kind of friend in a long time.

And ms. france. Boy, I miss her too--even if she is right here. Her last entry and the Yo La Tengo that was playing when I read it just tore me up. Made me yearn and made me sad. That girl is cute but I knew she was having them demons talk, I could see them in her body and I felt dumb and stuck because I couldn't tell her how cute she is. I mean, that girl is cute through and through to her soul and I'm not just talking cute, I'm talking about all kinds of good. She doesn't deserve the demons (not that anybody really does) and I hated it because there wasn't anything I could do except let her get through it.

Also, I gotta say I love Harold. That cat is purring so loud right now at my feet I can feel the vibrations. It's great to sleep with the foot of the bed cramped with Buddy and Harold--I'm serious, I like it. They pin you down but its comfortable. There is also something very comfortable knowing that Ms. Blue is under the bed or behind the dresser. I rarely see her yet she has a very pervasive and comforting spirit which I'm thankful for.

Dave said Una slept with us too but I didn't know it. I was out to the world only somewhat aware of the rain on the roof. I slept on Frances' side cuz I didn't move the washed clothes piled on the bed and that was my amends. I'm feeling pretty good right now. I got love for folks and animals.

JB said something this morning that I loved. Last night when Dave and I were putting in the breakfast bar top I bashed myself rather hard in the face with a piece of walnut 4x4. I bled quite a bit but never got up to tend to the wound as my hands were full and the cut would clot soon enough. I showered and never thought to look at myself to see how gruesome a visage I was, caked with dirt and then blood. But, this morning, JB asked how my cheek was and I felt it saying, oh fine. He replied, It's the kid in me but, those are the best kind when you bleed alot and it looks gruesome but doesn't really hurt. I love this.

Ok, I'm going to go do some wiring now, the attic will be cool with all this rain.

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