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7 & 1/2 Acres |
2003-08-15 - 12:38 p.m. Just something to put here--nothing else and nothing worth reading just this: Ugh, blah, Ka-Bam. Fuck, goddamn. Fuck, urrrg, shit, Ka-blam, ka-blam, ka-blam, me. Just shy of a thousand bucks she'll run. I said, "Oh please, Candy, let me leave it there til Monday. I gotta pray for a check to come in." Candy's nice though. She said she didn't think Ronnie would mind. If two certain checks come in I'll only have to borrow $24.40. I might be able to find the .40 in the truck floor boards and if not there certainly in the dirty clothes pile. This is what I think is funny. Yesterday, I cursed God's name. I really don't like to curse God's name. It ain't my style. I prefer the fuck yous to people instead. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. But yesterday it was God. It was cuz my arms ached, my hands hurt, and I hit a butterfly smack on. I had to go to a massage therapist--a different one (Joey is outta town) and she didn't do me like I needed doing. She gave me a fru fru massage which led to me cursing God's name. Not only fru fru, but she massaged my fucking face and talked about how the massage oil would be good for my working man's dry skin. As if I fucking care about the elasticity of my skin--my fucking arms and hands ache and I'm a cripple without them. I lost three days this past week. She also got this oil in my eye and it still hurts and I still can't see right. That's what I think is funny. I go to this fucking massage therapist to try and take care of some physical ailments and I end up completely frustrated and cursing God with fucking massage oil in my eye. Leaving, she looks at the truck and sees the dead butterfly glued to the grill but doesn't realize it's dead and says, "Oh look, there's a butterfly on your truck." Too much really. So here is my apology to God--that I am sorry for cursing your name--that I forgot my Jesus prayer and lost my mind and my patience and my perspective. Here is my thanks too, for I am grateful for sinking so low and having this home to be in and this friend to be with. Oh, this friend. Lord Jesus Christ, have Mercy on me. In your name I pray, Amen. Oh, today, at breakfast, I didn't eat bacon nor gravy but got hotcakes instead. At lunch, I thought just a smoked chopped Bar B Q sandwich with slaw would be alright. I choked--I mean choked and had to urgently summon Mr. William to the bathroom where my sandwich and tea finally came out and went down. Part one way, the other part the other. I eat too fast.
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